


Silence and the End Of All Things

by pri_cafe



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fan Art, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 11:16:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/886616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pri_cafe/pseuds/pri_cafe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The Doctors thoughts on leaving Amy.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Silence and the End Of All Things

**Author's Note:**

> The Doctors thoughts on leaving Amy.

By this point, he was used to it. He was used to the moment of sheer desperation. "Amy!" he'd cry, voice cracking. Then she'd turn. He'd realize then, he'd realize that he hadn't been saved; his life was unraveling, re-winding before his eyes.   
This time, this time it was different. This time he could stay. This time Amy was asleep.. "Come here, you."  He said, voice wavering in the silent night. Amy Pond, the girl who waited. He'd already caused her so much grief, it was all he could do to pick her up and tuck her in. This was it. This was the end of Amy Pond and her Doctor. He could never tell her now that he'd never be able to see her again.  Never thank her, never hold her… never love her.   
"Silly me. Silly Old Doctor." What was he doing? He raked his eyes over Amelia. The girl who waited, the very same girl he'd hurt so much. He was dying. He was old and he could never have admitted his love for her. Perhaps it was best she wouldn't remember him.   
"When you wake up, you'll have a mum and dad." He whispered, face alight. This was his redemption; it was his gift to his fairytale Amelia Pond. Maybe this would ease the aching guilt in his heart. Repair any damage he'd caused the beautiful girl in front of him. But it came at a price, he thought, face falling. It always came at a price.   
"And you won't even remember me." He finished brokenly. She would forget, forget EVERY thing. She wouldn't remember his love for her, or how much she loved him.  She'd wake up tomorrow morning, all of it lost.   
"Well you'll remember me a little" he conceded, consoling himself. "I'll be a story in your head."  
Wasn't that the best way to go? "We're all stories in the end." He mused. "Just make it a good one, eh?"   
He snorted a little, smiling through his haze of tears. "It was you know. It was the best."    
"A daft old man who stole a box, and ran away. Did I ever tell you that story? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back.  Oh that box, Amy. You'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you."   
He quickly wrapped it up. "Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient. And the bluest blue ever."  He was almost reverent about her, his TARDIS. This was it. The two most important people in his life. Amy and Idris. His love, and his wife.    
"The times we had." He whispered again, shaking his head."Would've had. Never had." In her dreams, he kept reminding himself. He laughed a little. It was the laugh of a broken man, a dying man, a defeated man.    
"The Doctor and Amy Pond. And the days that never came." He could not go on. This was the end for him. He could confess now, and leave her.    
"The cracks are closing. They won't close properly until I am on the other side."   
He couldn't. He couldn't fulfill her dreams and then leave again. Hadn't he hurt her enough? Was her 17 years of waiting not enough? He didn't want to, and he wouldn't admit. Besides, what of Rory? What of every other companion he'd loved and lost.   
"I don't belong here anymore." He said harshly. For what it was worth, it was true. All of it. This was repayment for the lives he'd lost and the hearts he'd wounded.   
"I think I''ll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats." This time the tears were heard in his voice. He tried to contain them until he reached the void.   
He had come to a conclusion. He loved her, but he'd also loved others. He did not want to hut his fairytale Amelia Pond. He did not want to be the reason she cried in her dreams. He loved her, but so did Rory. Rory needed her, he ached and longed for her. Rory was heartbreakingly, desperately in love with Amy. He owed them both that much. "Live well, love Rory. Bye-bye Pond."


End file.
